So Tired...

I'm tired. I'm just soooo tired...
And maybe you can help me...
Because I'm just so tired...
What is it with the constant offers of sex?
I'm talking about the dudes that fill my inbox,
with messages of the "amazing" things they would love to do to me.
And some of them are creative, but others, I swear they must be the same person.
I really don't get it! Is that all they can offer me?!
Am I giving the wrong message?
Am I presenting myself in a way that says that I want sex badly?
Because I don't get it. Is that all they have.
How about offering to touch my soul?
How about offering to make my heart smile?
How about telling me how you are ready to begin a long journey into my inner being because you want to know everything and anything about me, to get to know me in a way, I don't even know myself?
Why doesn't anyone offer me that?
Am I showing to much cleavage? Because I swear I don't try.
Its not my fault my stupid boobs are big.
I would trade them for a smaller pair ANY day.
Is it that? Because I don't get it?
Or is what I'm asking for something so hard to do?
Is it hard to make my heart ache in a good way?
Because maybe they don't know, but the simplest things would do.
The smallest show of care and thought would make my heart skip a beat.
I just want it to be genuine and real...
Lol... Smh... I guess thats it right there...
No one is up to genuinely open themselves fully to someone.
Letting out the smallest cheesy quirky parts of them.
*raises hand* I'm guilty... I'm scared too.
Scared to open myself in such a way to someone.
Partly because I don't think anyone could handle it.
No one would be able to handle my emotions.
Because they even scare me at times and make me cry.
So I keep them at bay. So I won't scare anyone off.
So they won't be afraid of me, and decide to run because they can't handle such a great love.
Yeah... I don't. I just keep it locked up in my treasure chest.
*shrug* Doesn't matter anyway... all they want is whats between my legs.
Thats all they care for.
But what they don't get is, until you touch my soul, I won't be spreading my legs.
So I let them waste their breathes.
Ignore them until they get tired.
And continue guarding my chest.
Until that day...
If that day ever comes...