Am I ready?

I hope I don't get killed for this...

I believe that everyone is self-conscious/insecure. Deep down we are. I don't think no one is 100% of the time thinking I'm the shit. So my question is, its normal to be scared right? Ok, my issue is... I know I'm beautiful inside and out. And as someone has mentioned to me before about knowing my worth... I know it. I believe I have a lot of good to offer to the man that truly desires to dissect me to my core and overpass my "problems". I really do. But I get scared. Sometimes I think, what if I'm not good enough, what if I'm not smart enough, what if I'm not pretty enough, what if I'm not freaky enough, what if I'm not experienced enough? What if I'm not strong enough? I just want to know if its normal to be scared, because if its not, if doubting myself means that I need to continue to work on myself (Although to me, working on yourself is a life long process, due to the different stages in life, we have to constantly change and adapt) then I want to know. Basically, during my constant self-reflecting, I always wonder if I am truly ready. In my mind I say that I am, but then again, I am my biggest critic. Ok, so I have a better question...

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU'RE READY TO LOVE!?

Things I'm scared to tell you...

1- Sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough for you. Like I'm not pretty enough. Smart enough. Creative enough. Freaky enough. Experienced enough. Strong enough. And it scares me...


2- Why have you never called me beautiful? Not that I'm fishing for compliments. Or that I need reassurance, because not only do I get complimented all the time, but deep down inside I know I'm beautiful inside out. But, you've never said it. I wonder why... To me, I would tell you every day how beautiful you are. I would tell you how sexy you look. How I love your eyes, and your nose, and your chin. I know the compliments might get tiring, so I might not say it everyday. But any chance where its fitting, I will. But I've never gotten any of that from you. And it would mean so much to hear it from YOU. Unless you don't think I'm beautiful, and therefore I totally understand.

I wish you were here with me. I wish I was there with you. but most of all, I wish I didn't have to wish for you, I wish I just had you already!

Yeah... I'm still thinking about kissing you... I think I always will... Even after I finally kiss you.

So just kiss me and let my hair messy itself in your fingers and let me steady myself in the arms of a man that won't ask me to be what he needs, but lets me exist as I am.