Lost between the words that come out your mouth
Some words are fire and others are ice
You constantly keep me asking whats real
Some words are deep and others are shallow
Your attitude turns like a light switch
Some words are light and others are dark
I feel lost between what you mean and what you show
Some words are high and others are low
Because your love makes me feel so good inside
Some words are sweet and others are sour
But the aftermath is a third degree burn
Some words are happy and others are sad
When his hands caress my body, I feel my heart begin its race.
When his lips touch me, I fail to inhale again.
When he loves me, I go into a state of ecstasy
How can his love be so sincere and pure,
But his attitude be so smug and rude.
Can someone make love to someone they don't love.
Demonstrate how they feel, but speak the contrary.
The aftermath is what confuses me.
The aftermath is what makes me doubt.
His dick game loves me, but his word game hates me.
Are words deceiving, do action speak louder then words
In this case I wouldn't know.
If I can't trust my heart, then I'll listen to my mind.
Because at least the logical mind keeps me away from the pain.
If you can't love me at all times of the day and night
If you dont want me in your rights and wrongs
If your not capable of showing whats really inside
Then keep your good love away from me.
Your love has become torture instead of pleasure.
So fuck you and move along
Because I'm tired of your stupid rollercoaster ride.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
The Better Parts Of Me!!!!
I sit and I analyze my best friends in my life. I start to think about each one of them and I come to realize that they all form key parts of my personality. And each part that they represent is just a perfect area of me. Each part is a piece of the equation that form me, for without the correct variables you cant finish the equation. When you put them together you get me..... something like Captain Planet. lmao My friends are all perfected variables of my personality, no wonder they fit soo well in to my life.
Marleni : My Faith and My Purity
Her strong devotion to God, the fact that she is so pure in every sense of the word, is what I connect and love the most about her. Marleni is a person truly has a God oriented life. Shes not perfect because none of us are, but shes better at it then I am. I love God with all my heart, and I devote the most I want, because I know I can do so much better, but her faith is truly exemplified in her life in so many ways. That is something that I value so much about myself, but that I still need to work hard on. Secondly, her purity. I wish I was still as pure as she is. I guess from things I have been exposed to, things I have chosen to be exposed to, and things I have done, I no longer have the purity she has. I can no longer have that purity, because my life is already tainted. I admire it soo much, and I hope that whats in my possibility i will make her stay that way.
Jeffrey : My Intelligence and My Wisdom
He is in my opinion one of the smartest people I know. Not because hes like some smart geek, but because he actually knows a little bit about everything, and everything that he knows about is correct and always on point. He's a person that truly educates himself on all things, and doesn't pick and choose, but hes someone that I see enjoys to know about everything. His open mind helps him intake everything that comes at him and not judge but enjoy the knowledge that hes gaining. It can get annoying when you try to argue with him because you think you know but you really don't. I love to learn about things, I love to know about everything. It intrigues me to learn new things, its soo exciting. But its something that I truly love about him. Secondly, his wisdom. He's the person I go to when I can't figure things out on my own. I believe his wisdom is way beyond his years. He thinks of things, life, humanity, and the world in such a way that it fascinates me. He doesn't believe that everything is black or white. He doesn't take things just as it is, he always believes there's more to things then what the eye can see. I love his way of thinking and I always try to be as he is in that way. Constantly thinking outside the box, believe that there is soo much more out there then what I see. These two are qualities many people see in me, and I try my best to display
Milagros : My Good-Humored Nature and My Realness
Milagros aka Milly bka Yvette one of the realest person I know. This chick is straight-forward, we call her a bitch, but its so not the word. You will either hate her for her candor or respect her for it. And boy do I love it! She aint no phony, she'll let it it show and let it be known if she likes you or not. She will tell you straight up whats wrong with you, even if its in her own little twisted opinion, but she is always fair. Milly is one of those ride or die chicks. She will love you no matter what your issues are, and she will be sure to let you know what they are as well. I may not be as blunt as she is, but I when I'm asked I am very truthful. I always try to love everyone no matter their defect, but I treat everyone exactly how they deserve to be treated. I wont giggle in your face and act like your friend if I don't like you, but if I do you will always know because I will treat you with the up most respect and give you every sincere part of me. Her realness, the fact that she don't care if she hurts your feelings to tell you the truth is what I wish I could do. I rather just shut up and keep it to myself. Secondly, Milly is sooo much fun. I love to do anything with her, go anywhere because she always makes the time worth while. Shes outgoing and funny. I'm always told that I'm the life of the party, well Milly is the life of my party.
Marleni : My Faith and My Purity
Her strong devotion to God, the fact that she is so pure in every sense of the word, is what I connect and love the most about her. Marleni is a person truly has a God oriented life. Shes not perfect because none of us are, but shes better at it then I am. I love God with all my heart, and I devote the most I want, because I know I can do so much better, but her faith is truly exemplified in her life in so many ways. That is something that I value so much about myself, but that I still need to work hard on. Secondly, her purity. I wish I was still as pure as she is. I guess from things I have been exposed to, things I have chosen to be exposed to, and things I have done, I no longer have the purity she has. I can no longer have that purity, because my life is already tainted. I admire it soo much, and I hope that whats in my possibility i will make her stay that way.
Jeffrey : My Intelligence and My Wisdom
He is in my opinion one of the smartest people I know. Not because hes like some smart geek, but because he actually knows a little bit about everything, and everything that he knows about is correct and always on point. He's a person that truly educates himself on all things, and doesn't pick and choose, but hes someone that I see enjoys to know about everything. His open mind helps him intake everything that comes at him and not judge but enjoy the knowledge that hes gaining. It can get annoying when you try to argue with him because you think you know but you really don't. I love to learn about things, I love to know about everything. It intrigues me to learn new things, its soo exciting. But its something that I truly love about him. Secondly, his wisdom. He's the person I go to when I can't figure things out on my own. I believe his wisdom is way beyond his years. He thinks of things, life, humanity, and the world in such a way that it fascinates me. He doesn't believe that everything is black or white. He doesn't take things just as it is, he always believes there's more to things then what the eye can see. I love his way of thinking and I always try to be as he is in that way. Constantly thinking outside the box, believe that there is soo much more out there then what I see. These two are qualities many people see in me, and I try my best to display
Milagros : My Good-Humored Nature and My Realness
Milagros aka Milly bka Yvette one of the realest person I know. This chick is straight-forward, we call her a bitch, but its so not the word. You will either hate her for her candor or respect her for it. And boy do I love it! She aint no phony, she'll let it it show and let it be known if she likes you or not. She will tell you straight up whats wrong with you, even if its in her own little twisted opinion, but she is always fair. Milly is one of those ride or die chicks. She will love you no matter what your issues are, and she will be sure to let you know what they are as well. I may not be as blunt as she is, but I when I'm asked I am very truthful. I always try to love everyone no matter their defect, but I treat everyone exactly how they deserve to be treated. I wont giggle in your face and act like your friend if I don't like you, but if I do you will always know because I will treat you with the up most respect and give you every sincere part of me. Her realness, the fact that she don't care if she hurts your feelings to tell you the truth is what I wish I could do. I rather just shut up and keep it to myself. Secondly, Milly is sooo much fun. I love to do anything with her, go anywhere because she always makes the time worth while. Shes outgoing and funny. I'm always told that I'm the life of the party, well Milly is the life of my party.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Fighting My Feelings Away
How do you win a fight that was lost from the beginning?
I finally understand every love song I've heard,
And I finally feel every love story I've read.
I've never fought my feelings as hard as I've fought my feelings for you.
From the very beginning I told you to stay away.
Even when I wanted you I pleaded you to move on to someone better.
You never budged and you never left.
I thought it was the chase that made you stay.
Yet you constantly threatened to make me love you.
And I persistently fought to discourage you.
I relentlessly tried to convince us both we aren't meant to be
I looked for excuses to feed you, as well as me, why we couldn't be
But you didn't care nor listened to me
I wanted you so bad, but I told myself it wasn't right.
So I continued to fight those words from my mind.
Because although my heart told me so I believe in mind over matter
Slowly but surely bricks from my wall began to fall off.
Slowly the words you told me would shoot down every sniper thought,
Slowly you invaded my mind and conquered my heart.
Now I see my walls crumbled and I have truly fallen real hard.
Now my mind, body and soul are out of wack.
Every word you speak takes my breathe away.
The thoughts of you turn my skin on fire.
My hearts skips a beat when you confess things to me.
I've never wanted someone as bad as I want you
Yet I can't stop my want to fight it away.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Genesis 50:20
You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. Genesis 50:20
In life there are so many ppl that do harm to us. We ask ourselves why is it that God let these ppl hurt us, and abuse us. Yet we fail to realize that there is a good behind every bad. And maybe this one person betraying us or hurting us in any way or form is God demonstrating to us that this person isnt the right person to be our friend or loved one. This betrayal that we might find it hurtful is something small compared to what this person could've done in the future. I realized that behind every bad there is a good. And that God shows his glory in the smallest things that sometimes we're to blind to see. You get betrayed, you get hurt, Thank God that it wasn't worse. Thank God that it was now instead of later. Therefore for al the fakers, the phonies, the haters: BEWARE!!! Dont mess with the children of God, because you can find yourself in alot of trouble not with me or anyone like me, but with a force that unhumanly powerful. Like the bible saids No weapons thrown against shall prosper!!!!!
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Whats the Point?
Whats the point of loving someone if they dont love you back?
Whats the point of caring for someone who doesnt care for you?
Whats the point of fighitng and crying for someone who doesnt fight back?
Whats the point of all the hurt, if at the end its not right?
So many intellectual women who I am fortunate to share my friendship with are currently going through some unnecessary predicaments with men who seem not to esteem the value these wonderful women acquire. They seem to not see how priceless it is to have these women at thier sides, offering to cater to their hearts, souls, and bodies. Sadly, these women are torn, and heartrending for the ungrateful men. These men who seem not to be resolute in what they want. These women have so much on their plate, having to work, alongside seek higher education, and now deal with a selfish, unappreciative coward, who is not able to voice with thier mouths what they feel in their hearts. Therefore, my question is what is the point? What is the point for me to get involve with a man, who will eventually end up demonstrating the same worthless gratitude towards my unconditional love. What is the point? There is no point. Therefore to save my heart the scars, and my eyes the tears, and my soul the pain, I will no longer seek to be involved with any man, until I have felt that I am ready to deal with all these obstacles to find my true love. When ever God feels that I am fit and ready to be with a man, therefore all the hardwork I will go through I know will not go in vain. On the contrary will be to define my relationship with the man that I am to marry. But there is no point in going through silly boyfriends, who will only play with my heart to at the end break it off to indulge themselves in senseless sex with other worthless women. That is the point!
Whats the point of caring for someone who doesnt care for you?
Whats the point of fighitng and crying for someone who doesnt fight back?
Whats the point of all the hurt, if at the end its not right?
So many intellectual women who I am fortunate to share my friendship with are currently going through some unnecessary predicaments with men who seem not to esteem the value these wonderful women acquire. They seem to not see how priceless it is to have these women at thier sides, offering to cater to their hearts, souls, and bodies. Sadly, these women are torn, and heartrending for the ungrateful men. These men who seem not to be resolute in what they want. These women have so much on their plate, having to work, alongside seek higher education, and now deal with a selfish, unappreciative coward, who is not able to voice with thier mouths what they feel in their hearts. Therefore, my question is what is the point? What is the point for me to get involve with a man, who will eventually end up demonstrating the same worthless gratitude towards my unconditional love. What is the point? There is no point. Therefore to save my heart the scars, and my eyes the tears, and my soul the pain, I will no longer seek to be involved with any man, until I have felt that I am ready to deal with all these obstacles to find my true love. When ever God feels that I am fit and ready to be with a man, therefore all the hardwork I will go through I know will not go in vain. On the contrary will be to define my relationship with the man that I am to marry. But there is no point in going through silly boyfriends, who will only play with my heart to at the end break it off to indulge themselves in senseless sex with other worthless women. That is the point!
Monday, October 27, 2008
I AM READY FOR LOVE
The bible says love your neighbor like you love yourself. Yet there are so many ppl who dont love themselves, how can they love others. And in order for someone to love themselves they have to Love God, and have a relationship with God. Speaking for myself, for so long I had forgotten my first love, which was God. I had forgotten the joy i had when i was in love with God, and i was immersed in his works. When i enjoyed serving him. Since that point everything in my life started going wrong. At the point in which i left God behind, to look for something else to find joy in, my life started going wrong. Its like leaving that good girl or good guy you have, to go out be with other women and men, not noticing that you will never find another girl or guy like that every again. I thought that i would be happy going out clubbin, or drinking, and i was wrong. Now i have to work on my rekindled relationship with God, now i have to look inside of me and see whats stopping me from reaching that level of spirituality i want to be in. By loving God, i will learn to love myself, and when i love myself, i will be able to love others, and then others will love me too. The bible says in Matthew 22 : 37 Jesus said to him, “ ‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. 38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’40 On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.” I am finally able to commit to my love for God. I dont wanna be a player no more, im not running from commitment. I AM READY FOR LOVE!!!
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