Target Practice

I was enticed by his poetic words fused with the art of imagination, only left to wonder what the reality would've been like, and with no hope of ever finding out. His rhythmic lyrics and wise words were bullets to my targeted insides. Each word, each statement, each connection, only getting closer to the bulls eye. I became a lifeless piece of paper full of bullet wounds. Each point of weakness shot down with precise accuracy. He could've been a Navy SEALs sniper with his skills, but he wasn't. He was a woman connoisseur, and he knew exactly how to win this battle. And just like the action heroes at the end of a movie, he walked away with his head high, and his back to the wreck havoc that he left behind. But what was he saving, and was his talent to obliterate necessary in this mission?

Locked Inside A Glass Tank

I wrote this a while back, I hadnt finished it because I just couldn't think of an ending for it. So today i wrote the last stanza. It is what is is...lol

Locked inside a cubed glassed tank
I see the flow of emotions filling up the tank
I kick the walls trying to break the glass
I need to find an escape.

My mind begins to wonder how did i get in here
I see fast paced images being placed infront of me
I see the one i loved and left me
I see my favorite couple breaking up
I see my partner in crime leaving my side

I come back and the flow of emotions has accelerated
The tank begins to fill at an alarming rate
I kick the glass harder hoping it breaks
I need to find an escape

My vision gets blurred and I find myself in a room
Relieved to think I am out I'm only being deceived
I recognize the room and a sharp pain hits me
I see my favorite couple using harsh words
I see my favorite couple getting agitated
I see my favorite couple fist fighting
Yet the male is dominating

I come back and the tank is halfway full
I m floating up now and see the top closing in
I try to hit the glass once again hoping it breaks
I need to find an escape

I feel faint and I find myself in a room
Not to be fooled again I look for the bus
I look down the road and see it far on its way
I see my partner in crime on her way
I see my partner in crime finding her new life
I see my partner in crime leaving what she loves
Because she let the male dominate her life.

I come back to the reality of this tank
The water is up to my neck and I'm losing air.
I swim down trying to find a way out of it
I need to find an escape

As I lose the breathe inside I faint once again
I begin to feel this undeniable and familiar pain
I could recall the words that made my heart break
I see the one I loved conjure these words of hurt
I see the one I loved just put me aside
I see the one I loved walk out of my life
And he dominates her life by leaving her in pain

I thought I was dead from that last blow to the heart
But once again I was in this tank of emotional pain
Yet this time I actually used my brain and not my heart
And realized I just needed to let it completely out
I swim to the top and gave the lid all my might
I found my breathe again, and everything overflowed out.

THE PLACEBO

Years of treatment have brought this young women to what she is now. Constantly being treated and cured but only falling into the same state. She has lost all hope in her emotional health. But her last experience has definitely damaged her life forever:

When she had lost all hope in in her life, when she felt the loneliest and the most misfortune, she was brought this new medicine for her. When it was presented to her, she had a gut feeling it wouldn't work, but because of her hopeful heart she gave in to begin the treatment. As the time passed she witnessed great happiness. She found herself actually happy, thinking this was finally it. She thought that finally the one above found mercy in her life, and gave her what she most wanted. She would find herself understanding every bird song. Looking at the world and the earth with a great new view, yet deep down she had a feeling it would end. In due time her gut feeling was proven right. She was told the medicine was just a placebo. It was a sugar pill meant to mentally fake happiness into her life. The medicine was all a lie. It didn't exist, it wasn't real, it was just a disguise. A placebo that made her think her life was better, a placebo that made her mind make up this fake feeling of well being and good health. Whoever thought that this would make her lasting days better was only mistaken. The placebo had used her last notch of hope. Now she only feels anger, and disillusion. She feels hopeless and hurt, She has given up on her life, and anything good in it. Now as shes dying inside, she only hate those who thought the placebo was a way to give her some time of happiness. Because she would've rather kept living with ignorant hope, then being deceived and betrayed, now living hopeless and in pain. The beautiful sugar pill that faked happiness only finished causing her much more pain then before. Now her heart has stop beating, and love is something that she has lost hope in. Like a placebo, his lies made her believe, but his betrayal only killed the last bit of hope she had inside. The betrayal injected in her heart caused it to freeze and stop beating. Now shes a cold hearted human being. Walking in this world filled of hurt and pain, completely not believing in any good thing she sees. Only scared that it can be a placebo once again. The cure to her pain still has not been found, and like cancer shes most likely to die, then a cure ever being found.
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Now playing: Aventura - Dile al Amor
via FoxyTunes

The Difference Of Your Love and Your Words

Lost between the words that come out your mouth
Some words are fire and others are ice
You constantly keep me asking whats real
Some words are deep and others are shallow
Your attitude turns like a light switch
Some words are light and others are dark
I feel lost between what you mean and what you show
Some words are high and others are low
Because your love makes me feel so good inside
Some words are sweet and others are sour
But the aftermath is a third degree burn
Some words are happy and others are sad

When his hands caress my body, I feel my heart begin its race.
When his lips touch me, I fail to inhale again.
When he loves me, I go into a state of ecstasy
How can his love be so sincere and pure,
But his attitude be so smug and rude.
Can someone make love to someone they don't love.
Demonstrate how they feel, but speak the contrary.
The aftermath is what confuses me.
The aftermath is what makes me doubt.
His dick game loves me, but his word game hates me.
Are words deceiving, do action speak louder then words
In this case I wouldn't know.
If I can't trust my heart, then I'll listen to my mind.
Because at least the logical mind keeps me away from the pain.

If you can't love me at all times of the day and night
If you dont want me in your rights and wrongs
If your not capable of showing whats really inside
Then keep your good love away from me.
Your love has become torture instead of pleasure.
So fuck you and move along
Because I'm tired of your stupid rollercoaster ride.

Fighting My Feelings Away

How do you win a fight that was lost from the beginning?

I finally understand every love song I've heard,

And I finally feel every love story I've read.

I've never fought my feelings as hard as I've fought my feelings for you.

From the very beginning I told you to stay away.

Even when I wanted you I pleaded you to move on to someone better.

You never budged and you never left.

I thought it was the chase that made you stay.

Yet you constantly threatened to make me love you.

And I persistently fought to discourage you.

I relentlessly tried to convince us both we aren't meant to be

I looked for excuses to feed you, as well as me, why we couldn't be

But you didn't care nor listened to me

I wanted you so bad, but I told myself it wasn't right.

So I continued to fight those words from my mind.

Because although my heart told me so I believe in mind over matter

Slowly but surely bricks from my wall began to fall off.

Slowly the words you told me would shoot down every sniper thought,

Slowly you invaded my mind and conquered my heart.

Now I see my walls crumbled and I have truly fallen real hard.

Now my mind, body and soul are out of wack.

Every word you speak takes my breathe away.

The thoughts of you turn my skin on fire.

My hearts skips a beat when you confess things to me.

I've never wanted someone as bad as I want you

Yet I can't stop my want to fight it away.

I AM READY FOR LOVE

The bible says love your neighbor like you love yourself. Yet there are so many ppl who dont love themselves, how can they love others. And in order for someone to love themselves they have to Love God, and have a relationship with God. Speaking for myself, for so long I had forgotten my first love, which was God. I had forgotten the joy i had when i was in love with God, and i was immersed in his works. When i enjoyed serving him. Since that point everything in my life started going wrong. At the point in which i left God behind, to look for something else to find joy in, my life started going wrong. Its like leaving that good girl or good guy you have, to go out be with other women and men, not noticing that you will never find another girl or guy like that every again. I thought that i would be happy going out clubbin, or drinking, and i was wrong. Now i have to work on my rekindled relationship with God, now i have to look inside of me and see whats stopping me from reaching that level of spirituality i want to be in. By loving God, i will learn to love myself, and when i love myself, i will be able to love others, and then others will love me too. The bible says in Matthew 22 : 37 Jesus said to him, “ ‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. 38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’40 On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.” I am finally able to commit to my love for God. I dont wanna be a player no more, im not running from commitment. I AM READY FOR LOVE!!!