Elders: kids in an old body

Today is a Jewish holiday, Rosh Hashana. In the building that i work at, its predominately Jewish. Therefore, there were alot of ppl coming by to have dinner, and alot of families getting together. But the most that i noticed was the elders. There were alot of older ppl coming to see thier children and grandchildren to share this holiday. One thing tho that really caught my eye was how these children, treated thier elders, their grandparents. They had to speak to them as if they were children again. An older man, who I'm sure is a grandfather, spoke to his mother, as if she was the child. He would say: "This way mother..." "Yes, into the elevator now" "Be careful, hold my hand" It was almost like taking care of a child. And the elder will walk real slow with her walker, just like a baby when its learning its first steps. My mom once told me, we come into this world as a child, and we leave as a child. We grow the tallest we can, and as the year take toll we start to shrink again. Whats the most interesting is, i bet all these elders now a days had such a nice life. I'm sure they can look back into their younger years and be proud. Feel proud of the accomplishments that they have. Sometimes we tke our grandparents, and great grandparents, if we have them, for granted. But if us Generation Y(1977-1997) and Generation Z (1997- to now) if we sat down with our elders and asked about thier youth, im sure they have a lifetime worth of stories, that wont sound old school and boring, but somewhat similars to ours. Just that they were able to enjoy it better, they took life at a slow pace(partly beacuse they had to), we want everything now, at the instant(partly becuase we are use to it). Money is always an issue, but i bet they did not fret about having the latest video game, or latest jordans. They didnt have so many extra things to waste thier money on. They enjoyed nature, they enjoyed lakes, and beaches. Our Generation doesnt know how to enjoy the outdoors. Everthing we do needs energy. To all the elders out there, i admire and envy your age. I wish i could go back to your days, and just have some plain ol good clean fun.

......and they say WOMEN are Confusing????

For aslong as I been alive, and I have watched television, women are always portrayed as the confused one who does not know who to love, neither what they want in a relationship, or how to fulfill thier needs. Yet as I have started to begin my stage of young adulthood, in which humans begin to look for that relationship, or like my education books calls it Intimacy vs Isolation stage, I've noticed that Men are the most confusing. I'm sure every girl or women has had that one guy who along from being thier friend, they have had some type or connection or interaction that makes them feel, or perceive that her male friend may be having non platonic feelings for her. Immediately, becuase as the emotional creatures that we are, we pick up on that and we also begin to develope feelings. Yet, as we begin this journey of mixed emotions, the male keeps on with his antics, showing signs of attraction and non platonic feelings, but no signs of commitment. Then when we finally pick up the "cojones" to confront the situation, they claim that they only see us as a friend. Yet, I ask, if you do only see us as a friend, why do you talk to us as if we are something more, why do you proclaim that you want to kiss me, and bed me. Why do we have this deeper connection that you do not have with no one else. Do men see thier friends as a person that they can be friends with but at the same time have sex with(and i am not talking about friends with benefits). Or is that just your friendship with women. Cause I know men dont tell their boys that they want to kiss them. Or Do women have the wrong interpretation as to what a friend is. To us, either we are just friends, or are we more then friends. Either we hug goodbye, or kiss me goodnight. Becuase someone that is just a friend to me, will never hear me tell them that i want to kiss him, or be with him, unless I have some type of feelings. I will always assure them that i only see them as a friend. Men are confusing. They tell us we are amazing, and that we are incredible women, yet not incredible enough for you. And WE are CONFUSING??? How about this, save your poor excuses, don't make it seem as if we are the delusional ones, that made up these feelings from the no where. Just admit that you aren't man enough for a women like me, that you rather go out and be with a garden tool, who doesn't value herself enough to demand respect. Just admit that you rather be sticking your libido in all kinds of women, instead of focusing yourself on one that deserves all your attention. Admit the FACTS!!! You are not ready, and you cannot handle being in love, or being with a women as I or any like me. Advice to the wise, stop sending mixed signals, and if you just want to be a friend, and only see us as a friend, then just act like a friend and nothing more.

Does the struggle Ever END!!!!

As I was talking to one of my besties today, I realized that in life, all we do is struggle. When we are born we struggle to get out, and live, as we grow up, we struggle to find out identitiy, when we are young adults, we struggle with school, society, and the workforce, all at the same time. When we are done with that stage we find ourselves dealing with marriage, kids, and a career. Struggling day in and day out, to work hard to fulfill the needs of our kids, and not to loose our marriage. Then as we get old, and all our children are old, we go back to struggling with ourselves. struggling with our health to stay alive. When does the struggle ever end? When do we ever find a point in our life where we can sit back, and relax, without a worry in our lives. You may say a vacation, but really how long does that last. Usually those 1 or 2 weeks of vacation is just another showing you are hectic your real life is. When does the struggle ever end? Maybe death, and death in Christ. If you dont die in Christ, you'll only be going to hell burning for the rest of your immortal life.

WhAtS wRoNg wItH mE?!?!?!

What is wrong with me? There has to be something wrong with me. I look at myself constantly pointing out my imperfections, blaming myself for my loneliness, for my sadness. I am the cause of this. So many ppl call me smiley, or so many ppl say that i am always so friendly. If they only knew my troubles inside, how miserable i felt, how i can't stand to be with myself. Sometimes i wanna fall in a deep state of depression, i wanna get sick, i want to just give up, put all my strengths aside and just be depressed. just hate myself, and loathe in my own sadness. just give up this fight i have with myself where i keep my mind and soul from falling into that ditch. I WANT TO GIVE UP. Can i just fall into that quick sand, and not struggle to get out or call for help. Im sick and tired of fighting, im just wanna stop. I was driving one morning, on my way to school, and i was on the highway. I was physically and unconsciously driving, but in my mind i was drowning myself in my own pool of misery, when a car all the sudden gets infront of me. And for that less then a second, i didnt want to put the brakes. i didnt want to stop myself from slamming into that car, and almost putting myself through death. for that less then a second i wanted to die. and in that less of a second, i pictured my car hitting that car, twirling in the air, falling upside down, ambulance rushing, they get me out the car, im on the ride to the hospital fighting for my life, my family in panic, im laying in a bed in a coma, the church praying for my health, my friends upset and sadden becuase of my state, yet me laying in that hospital bed gone, in a world beyond this, where i dont have worries, and i look back at myself in that bed and i tell myself, i dont wanna come back, yet, i see my family suffering and i hurt, seeing my whole life going down the drain, everything i worked for in the garbage becuase i wont be able to come back to life. and that lil stench of reality makes me put my foot on that brakes. I almost gave up in that less of a second. Maybe i do have some strength inside. I just hope the next time that less of a second is enough, i hope next time it doesnt take longer, becuase then i dont know if ill have the mental strength to put the foot on the brakes.