When will someone care enough to listen...

Detoriating to be alone,
Where no one wants to follow.
The fight of your unconsious and conscious mind
You are tormented by your inner battle
Your conscious mind looking for solace,
While your unconscious reveals it'll never be found
As you lay in bed forever desolate.
You wonder if someone will ever be around.
Will someone ever really want to hear your hurt
Find interest in you joys and your pains
Hear your soul, hear you heart.
Thier interest a forever burning flame.
Thats what my heart truly desire
A being who i can forever confide in
Who's unconditional love will never expire
But growing constanly without an end
Who is eternally tantalized by my thoughts,
Wanting to be part of my mentality
Constantly and forevermore understanding
Always intrigued by my somber and felicity
Will someone ever really care to listen?

Locked Inside A Glass Tank

I wrote this a while back, I hadnt finished it because I just couldn't think of an ending for it. So today i wrote the last stanza. It is what is is...lol

Locked inside a cubed glassed tank
I see the flow of emotions filling up the tank
I kick the walls trying to break the glass
I need to find an escape.

My mind begins to wonder how did i get in here
I see fast paced images being placed infront of me
I see the one i loved and left me
I see my favorite couple breaking up
I see my partner in crime leaving my side

I come back and the flow of emotions has accelerated
The tank begins to fill at an alarming rate
I kick the glass harder hoping it breaks
I need to find an escape

My vision gets blurred and I find myself in a room
Relieved to think I am out I'm only being deceived
I recognize the room and a sharp pain hits me
I see my favorite couple using harsh words
I see my favorite couple getting agitated
I see my favorite couple fist fighting
Yet the male is dominating

I come back and the tank is halfway full
I m floating up now and see the top closing in
I try to hit the glass once again hoping it breaks
I need to find an escape

I feel faint and I find myself in a room
Not to be fooled again I look for the bus
I look down the road and see it far on its way
I see my partner in crime on her way
I see my partner in crime finding her new life
I see my partner in crime leaving what she loves
Because she let the male dominate her life.

I come back to the reality of this tank
The water is up to my neck and I'm losing air.
I swim down trying to find a way out of it
I need to find an escape

As I lose the breathe inside I faint once again
I begin to feel this undeniable and familiar pain
I could recall the words that made my heart break
I see the one I loved conjure these words of hurt
I see the one I loved just put me aside
I see the one I loved walk out of my life
And he dominates her life by leaving her in pain

I thought I was dead from that last blow to the heart
But once again I was in this tank of emotional pain
Yet this time I actually used my brain and not my heart
And realized I just needed to let it completely out
I swim to the top and gave the lid all my might
I found my breathe again, and everything overflowed out.

THE PLACEBO

Years of treatment have brought this young women to what she is now. Constantly being treated and cured but only falling into the same state. She has lost all hope in her emotional health. But her last experience has definitely damaged her life forever:

When she had lost all hope in in her life, when she felt the loneliest and the most misfortune, she was brought this new medicine for her. When it was presented to her, she had a gut feeling it wouldn't work, but because of her hopeful heart she gave in to begin the treatment. As the time passed she witnessed great happiness. She found herself actually happy, thinking this was finally it. She thought that finally the one above found mercy in her life, and gave her what she most wanted. She would find herself understanding every bird song. Looking at the world and the earth with a great new view, yet deep down she had a feeling it would end. In due time her gut feeling was proven right. She was told the medicine was just a placebo. It was a sugar pill meant to mentally fake happiness into her life. The medicine was all a lie. It didn't exist, it wasn't real, it was just a disguise. A placebo that made her think her life was better, a placebo that made her mind make up this fake feeling of well being and good health. Whoever thought that this would make her lasting days better was only mistaken. The placebo had used her last notch of hope. Now she only feels anger, and disillusion. She feels hopeless and hurt, She has given up on her life, and anything good in it. Now as shes dying inside, she only hate those who thought the placebo was a way to give her some time of happiness. Because she would've rather kept living with ignorant hope, then being deceived and betrayed, now living hopeless and in pain. The beautiful sugar pill that faked happiness only finished causing her much more pain then before. Now her heart has stop beating, and love is something that she has lost hope in. Like a placebo, his lies made her believe, but his betrayal only killed the last bit of hope she had inside. The betrayal injected in her heart caused it to freeze and stop beating. Now shes a cold hearted human being. Walking in this world filled of hurt and pain, completely not believing in any good thing she sees. Only scared that it can be a placebo once again. The cure to her pain still has not been found, and like cancer shes most likely to die, then a cure ever being found.
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Now playing: Aventura - Dile al Amor
via FoxyTunes

The Difference Of Your Love and Your Words

Lost between the words that come out your mouth
Some words are fire and others are ice
You constantly keep me asking whats real
Some words are deep and others are shallow
Your attitude turns like a light switch
Some words are light and others are dark
I feel lost between what you mean and what you show
Some words are high and others are low
Because your love makes me feel so good inside
Some words are sweet and others are sour
But the aftermath is a third degree burn
Some words are happy and others are sad

When his hands caress my body, I feel my heart begin its race.
When his lips touch me, I fail to inhale again.
When he loves me, I go into a state of ecstasy
How can his love be so sincere and pure,
But his attitude be so smug and rude.
Can someone make love to someone they don't love.
Demonstrate how they feel, but speak the contrary.
The aftermath is what confuses me.
The aftermath is what makes me doubt.
His dick game loves me, but his word game hates me.
Are words deceiving, do action speak louder then words
In this case I wouldn't know.
If I can't trust my heart, then I'll listen to my mind.
Because at least the logical mind keeps me away from the pain.

If you can't love me at all times of the day and night
If you dont want me in your rights and wrongs
If your not capable of showing whats really inside
Then keep your good love away from me.
Your love has become torture instead of pleasure.
So fuck you and move along
Because I'm tired of your stupid rollercoaster ride.

The Better Parts Of Me!!!!

I sit and I analyze my best friends in my life. I start to think about each one of them and I come to realize that they all form key parts of my personality. And each part that they represent is just a perfect area of me. Each part is a piece of the equation that form me, for without the correct variables you cant finish the equation. When you put them together you get me..... something like Captain Planet. lmao My friends are all perfected variables of my personality, no wonder they fit soo well in to my life.

Marleni : My Faith and My Purity

Her strong devotion to God, the fact that she is so pure in every sense of the word, is what I connect and love the most about her. Marleni is a person truly has a God oriented life. Shes not perfect because none of us are, but shes better at it then I am. I love God with all my heart, and I devote the most I want, because I know I can do so much better, but her faith is truly exemplified in her life in so many ways. That is something that I value so much about myself, but that I still need to work hard on. Secondly, her purity. I wish I was still as pure as she is. I guess from things I have been exposed to, things I have chosen to be exposed to, and things I have done, I no longer have the purity she has. I can no longer have that purity, because my life is already tainted. I admire it soo much, and I hope that whats in my possibility i will make her stay that way.


Jeffrey : My Intelligence and My Wisdom

He is in my opinion one of the smartest people I know. Not because hes like some smart geek, but because he actually knows a little bit about everything, and everything that he knows about is correct and always on point. He's a person that truly educates himself on all things, and doesn't pick and choose, but hes someone that I see enjoys to know about everything. His open mind helps him intake everything that comes at him and not judge but enjoy the knowledge that hes gaining. It can get annoying when you try to argue with him because you think you know but you really don't. I love to learn about things, I love to know about everything. It intrigues me to learn new things, its soo exciting. But its something that I truly love about him. Secondly, his wisdom. He's the person I go to when I can't figure things out on my own. I believe his wisdom is way beyond his years. He thinks of things, life, humanity, and the world in such a way that it fascinates me. He doesn't believe that everything is black or white. He doesn't take things just as it is, he always believes there's more to things then what the eye can see. I love his way of thinking and I always try to be as he is in that way. Constantly thinking outside the box, believe that there is soo much more out there then what I see. These two are qualities many people see in me, and I try my best to display


Milagros : My Good-Humored Nature and My Realness

Milagros aka Milly bka Yvette one of the realest person I know. This chick is straight-forward, we call her a bitch, but its so not the word. You will either hate her for her candor or respect her for it. And boy do I love it! She aint no phony, she'll let it it show and let it be known if she likes you or not. She will tell you straight up whats wrong with you, even if its in her own little twisted opinion, but she is always fair. Milly is one of those ride or die chicks. She will love you no matter what your issues are, and she will be sure to let you know what they are as well. I may not be as blunt as she is, but I when I'm asked I am very truthful. I always try to love everyone no matter their defect, but I treat everyone exactly how they deserve to be treated. I wont giggle in your face and act like your friend if I don't like you, but if I do you will always know because I will treat you with the up most respect and give you every sincere part of me. Her realness, the fact that she don't care if she hurts your feelings to tell you the truth is what I wish I could do. I rather just shut up and keep it to myself. Secondly, Milly is sooo much fun. I love to do anything with her, go anywhere because she always makes the time worth while. Shes outgoing and funny. I'm always told that I'm the life of the party, well Milly is the life of my party.

Fighting My Feelings Away

How do you win a fight that was lost from the beginning?

I finally understand every love song I've heard,

And I finally feel every love story I've read.

I've never fought my feelings as hard as I've fought my feelings for you.

From the very beginning I told you to stay away.

Even when I wanted you I pleaded you to move on to someone better.

You never budged and you never left.

I thought it was the chase that made you stay.

Yet you constantly threatened to make me love you.

And I persistently fought to discourage you.

I relentlessly tried to convince us both we aren't meant to be

I looked for excuses to feed you, as well as me, why we couldn't be

But you didn't care nor listened to me

I wanted you so bad, but I told myself it wasn't right.

So I continued to fight those words from my mind.

Because although my heart told me so I believe in mind over matter

Slowly but surely bricks from my wall began to fall off.

Slowly the words you told me would shoot down every sniper thought,

Slowly you invaded my mind and conquered my heart.

Now I see my walls crumbled and I have truly fallen real hard.

Now my mind, body and soul are out of wack.

Every word you speak takes my breathe away.

The thoughts of you turn my skin on fire.

My hearts skips a beat when you confess things to me.

I've never wanted someone as bad as I want you

Yet I can't stop my want to fight it away.

Not A Blogger: Dear Lebron, Will You Please Save My Eternal Soul?: What Lebron James Means To Myself, A Franchise & The City Of Cleveland

Not A Blogger: Dear Lebron, Will You Please Save My Eternal Soul?: What Lebron James Means To Myself, A Franchise & The City Of Cleveland


AWESOME....PLEASE READ