*WARNING! THE FOLLOWING CONTENT IS FILLED WITH EXPLICIT WORDS*
FUCK YOU!!! I CAN'T FUCKING SCREAM FROM THE TOP OF MY LUNGS, BUT I CAN SURE AS HELL SCREAM THROUGH THIS PAGE!! FUCK YOU!!! FUCK THIS WORLD!!! FUCK EVERYBODY!!! EVERY FUCKING SELFISH INDIVIDUAL!!! FUCK YOU!!!
Why?
FUCK ALL YOU SELFISH BASTARDS AND SON OF A BITCHES!!! FUCK YOU, BECAUSE ALL YOU EVER THINK ABOUT IS YOUR FUCKING SELF. FUCK YOU BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE THINGS ABOUT ME. WELL YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER, YOU GOT SHIT I DON'T LIKE AS WELL. WHY DON'T YOU CHANGE THAT. WHY DO I HAVE TO SENSOR MYSELF AND I HAVE TO CHANGE WHO THE FUCK I AM BECAUSE YOU SO CALL DON'T LIKE THAT. WELL HOW ABOUT YOU CHANGE WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE. HOW ABOUT YOU SENSOR YOURSELF TO SOMETHING I LIKE. BUT WOULD I EVER ASK THAT FROM YOU!! OF COURSE I FUCKING WON'T!!! WHY BECAUSE THAT'S WHO YOU FUCKING ARE, AND WHY WOULD I WANT TO CHANGE WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE, THEN YOU WOULDN'T BE YOU. AND IF I DON'T LIKE IT, WHY SHOULD I DEAL WITH A MOTHERFUCKER LIKE YOU ANYWAYS. BUT I DO, I ACCEPT YOU AS YOU ARE. YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU DON'T LIKE ME, OHHHH FUCKING WELL. BE GONE, ON TO THE NEXT ONE!!!
What?
SO YEAH I'M A BIT CRAZY, I CAN BE AN EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER. I CAN BE FUCKING DRAMATIC. OH WELL THAT'S WHO I FUCKING AM, I'M FUCKING DRAMATIC. I GO OFF ON EMOTIONS FIRST, THAN LOGICAL THINKING. I DON'T FIT THE SUPERMODEL AND/OR VIDEO MODEL AND/OR CELEBRITY MOLD. I LIKE TO BE HELD. I SOMETIMES LIKE ATTENTION, SOMETIMES I WANT TO BE INVISIBLE. I LIKE TO BABBLE TO THOSE WILLING TO LISTEN (WHICH IS BASICALLY NO ONE). I HAVE A RIDICULOUS MIND FULL OF FANTASIES. I CAN BE INSECURE. I CAN BE SLOW AND A LITTLE OBLIVIOUS, BUT I CAN ALSO BE VERY ATTENTIVE. I TEND TO OVER THINK THINGS AND OVER ANALYZE AND SEE THINGS THAT MAY OR MAY NOT BE THERE. I CAN SHUT DOWN COMPLETELY WHEN I FIND SOMETHING IS TOO MUCH FOR ME. I CAN HIDE IN MY SHELL, OR I CAN JUST AS MUCH WALK OUT NAKED! I CAN BE SHORT ON WORDS, JUST LIKE I CAN HAVE TOO MUCH TO SAY. SO I'M A FUCKING CRAZY PERSON. I GOT ISSUES!! I CAN CARE TOO MUCH. I CAN CRY FOR ANYTHING. I CAN LOVE SOMEONE UNCONDITIONALLY. I CAN BE THERE FOR YOU NO MATTER WHAT. I WILL RIDE OR REALLY DIE FOR THE PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT. I GIVE MY ALL, NO QUESTIONS ASKED. I WILL LISTEN FOR AS LONG AS YOU NEED MY EARS. I WILL READ FOR AS LONG AS YOU NEED MY EYES. I WILL WALK FOR AS LONG AS YOU NEED ME BY YOUR SIDE. BUT I CAN ALSO GET LOST, I CAN ALSO NOT BE THERE UNLESS YOU TELL ME TO. I DON'T LIKE TO BE PUSHY, BUT IF YOU ASK, I'M THERE!
How?
I'M FUCKING SARAI CORDERO. I'M A FUCKING WOMAN, I HAVE A VAGINA. YOU LIKE THAT DON'T YOU, THE VAGINA PART, BUT I GUESS YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT THAT BRINGS ALONG. US HUMAN BEINGS WITH VAGINA'S ARE ALL DRIVEN BY FUCKING EMOTIONS. SO WHAT DO YOU DO, YOU HIT IT AND QUIT EVERY VAGINA YOU CAN GET, IN ORDER TO GET THE PLEASURE BUT NOT TO DEAL WITH COMES ALONG WITH IT. YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK OF THAT. THAT'S CALLED BEING A FUCKING COWARD! THAT'S CALLED BEING A PUNK! THE MAN WHO'S GOING TO LOVE ME WILL LOVE ME WITH ALL MY CRAZINESS. WITH ALL MY EMOTIONS, WITH ALL MY ISSUES. HE WILL LOVE EVERY THING THAT'S MAKES ME S-A-R-A-I-C-O-R-D-E-R-O!!! JUST AS I WILL LOVE HIM WITH ALL HIS ISSUES, WITH EVERYTHING THAT MAKES HIM WHO HE IS!! CALL ME STUPID FOR BELIEVING THAT?? I CALL YOU STUPID FOR NOT!! SO YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M ME, DON'T LIKE WHO I AM, FEEL FREE TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE!!
Friday, April 16, 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
Sometimes....
Sometimes......
I just want to get up and just walk,
walk non stop on a long road,
walk straight, no curves.
Sometimes......
I just want someone to talk to,
doesn't have to be about me,
doesn't have to mean a thing.
Sometimes......
I just want a long hug,
a hug that's tight and strong,
a hug that will last a while.
Sometimes......
I just want to cry a little,
not hard and loud wail,
but tears that fall soft and slow.
Once I again, I find myself alone, wondering when will someone care to listen. When will I find that individual that will sit up with me all night and talk to me, and listen to me. Who will want to really spend their days and nights enthralled in discussions and chats about anything and everything. Last night as I drove home alone in my car, I had this unexplainable feeling inside. I wish I knew what it was, it didn't feel like anger, or neither sadness. It wasn't any of the good feelings either. All I know is that I had a strong urge to cry. To just let my heart let this unexplainable feeling out through lacrimation. But I refuse to cry, I refuse to shed tears, so I wanted to talk. Talk to someone, or anyone about anything. Anything to keep my mind off whatever was causing this feeling. I got to my household, and mechanically got ready for bed, and got on my laptop. First thing that I decided to do was write it out. Write out what I was feeling, whether it made no sense, just write it all out. What was written above is what came out, I probably could have keep going but the phone rang. A call from one of the males in my life that wish to involve himself in sexual activities with me. So we talked. We had a stupid meaningless conversation. Sometimes short periods of silence would occur, but either way somehow it made me feel better. Eventually I ended up getting sleepy. We hung up and I turned everything off and went to bed. But that meaningless conversation filled with idiotic topics was enough to vanish the feeling. Sometimes I just want to walk. Sometimes I just want to talk. Sometimes I just want to be held. Sometimes I just want to cry. Why? Doing any of the above, helps me get through those unexplainable feelings, I just don't know how to deal with. All I need is to find that person who is going to be with me during those sometimes.
I just want to get up and just walk,
walk non stop on a long road,
walk straight, no curves.
Sometimes......
I just want someone to talk to,
doesn't have to be about me,
doesn't have to mean a thing.
Sometimes......
I just want a long hug,
a hug that's tight and strong,
a hug that will last a while.
Sometimes......
I just want to cry a little,
not hard and loud wail,
but tears that fall soft and slow.
Once I again, I find myself alone, wondering when will someone care to listen. When will I find that individual that will sit up with me all night and talk to me, and listen to me. Who will want to really spend their days and nights enthralled in discussions and chats about anything and everything. Last night as I drove home alone in my car, I had this unexplainable feeling inside. I wish I knew what it was, it didn't feel like anger, or neither sadness. It wasn't any of the good feelings either. All I know is that I had a strong urge to cry. To just let my heart let this unexplainable feeling out through lacrimation. But I refuse to cry, I refuse to shed tears, so I wanted to talk. Talk to someone, or anyone about anything. Anything to keep my mind off whatever was causing this feeling. I got to my household, and mechanically got ready for bed, and got on my laptop. First thing that I decided to do was write it out. Write out what I was feeling, whether it made no sense, just write it all out. What was written above is what came out, I probably could have keep going but the phone rang. A call from one of the males in my life that wish to involve himself in sexual activities with me. So we talked. We had a stupid meaningless conversation. Sometimes short periods of silence would occur, but either way somehow it made me feel better. Eventually I ended up getting sleepy. We hung up and I turned everything off and went to bed. But that meaningless conversation filled with idiotic topics was enough to vanish the feeling. Sometimes I just want to walk. Sometimes I just want to talk. Sometimes I just want to be held. Sometimes I just want to cry. Why? Doing any of the above, helps me get through those unexplainable feelings, I just don't know how to deal with. All I need is to find that person who is going to be with me during those sometimes.
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