Dear God, Can I Still Come Up?

Dear God,

What's good? I'm sure you're getting other prayers coming in with things that are more serious, but maybe this will make you laugh. So, as I write this consider this my prayer, because since I know you're omniscient you already know what I'm writing, therefore placing my knees on the floor seem unnecessary at the moment. This young lady you called out from the moment I was in my mother’s womb and branded me for a specific purpose has grown and is asking for permission. Permission to stray away for a minute. Permission to experience that what you call sin. I have grown, I have gotten wiser, and the knowledge from that fruit you didn't want Adam and Eve has finally reached my mind and I finally understand. I also understand why you wanted to keep it away from us, because we humans have a way of taking things overboard and abusing it, but I know it, and it’s too late to go back. Point is I want to experience. The bible says not to get drunk, but it doesn't say not to drink period, so I'm going to drink. Sex, I understand your purpose for sex, I understand that you made sex in order for us to procreate, for us to multiply and expand, and also made it pleasurable so it won’t be a tough task to complete, but also for it to be a way to express our love to that who is your husband or wife, therefore making the bond stronger. I understand it completely, sex is not to be selfish, not for us to use it as a way to satisfy our own needs, but for us to satisfy the person you are sharing yourself with, and you making them feel good, as well as them making you feel good, therefore they need to love you to want to make you feel good. I'm not asking to become a slut whose looking for her own sexual needs to be satisfied, or a whore who is using the misused pleasure to make ends meet, but to allow me to show my love to those who I want to share myself with, to that guy that is giving me butterflies and making me think about him all night, and is making me feel good inside, let me share this with him. Yeah, he probably won't be the man I end up marrying, but at least I'm not doing it selfishly. I'm making him feel good, because he makes me feel good without it being sexually. I want to make him feel good because for this moment he's the person I have feelings for. Can I stray a little? I don't think that just because I'm asking for a little fun, that I won't be worthy of being your angel in the future. I don't think that this means I won't be as dedicated and will someday rise against you like those who did along with Lucifer so long ago. I know you're the almighty God, I love you like I know you already know, I respect you, but these rules are ridiculous. I understand why you made them, because there are some people out there who have abused life itself, and have done horrible things, but that not me. I ask for permission, because in reality I don't know what’s going on with Mr. Conscious, but he isn't doing his job lately. I guess he's taking days off or running late, but I been doing things and I don't feel bad for them anymore. I use to be scared to do things, but I feel like I'm not anymore, and like a friend told me, I should be worried when I don't feel scared anymore. Maybe I'm not scared because I know you'll love me anymore. Maybe this whole religion thing is for individuals that need a guideline that will keep them from doing wrong, but I have no evil inside, and I DON'T have to love for money or harbor feelings dark enough to kill. On the contrary, I love Love, and like you say, you are love, so I love you. That is all I look for and want in life. Love. So if I do this, can I still come in? Can I still be your angel at the end? I swear it won’t be for long, consider it a vacation, I'll be back. By the way I have to preach on Saturday, so please enlighten me! Thank you in advance!

Hello....

As I'm walking I notice your figure in front of me, and immediately the sight of you turns me on fire. I walk slowly towards you and the thoughts rush into my mind. I begin to undress you with my eyes. My wanting beginning to surface rapidly. All I can think about is feeling your arms around me, feeling my body against yours. Tasting those lips, and having you inside me. I begin to ache. Looking into your eyes, I notice that my desire is equally matched. I still can't believe that I get to have you after all. That I'll get to enjoy you both physically and spiritually. When I reach you, you slowly put your arms around my waist, as I lock mines around your neck. I feel you smell me in, caressing your face on my shoulders and neck. Smelling my hair and then caressing my face. Every movement sending small chills down my spine, as my body becomes highly alert to the masculine touch. I feel your beautiful hands on the small of my back, your hands sliding up and down my center. All I can think about is having you naked asap! I feel somewhat weird, because I've never wanted anyone so bad. Never needed anyone as bad. Felt like maybe these feelings and emotions will be too much to control. But I talked myself down before doing something irrational. I didn't want to jump into it too fast. I needed to savor it as much as I could. I needed to torture myself a little, before completely giving in. I wanted to take you in from all aspects. I wanted to watch you talk, eat, drink, walk, your gestures, your movements, everything. Then I wanted to sex you. Yet, one thing I was sure I couldn't wait for was kissing those lips. As you slowly made your way to the front of my face, I began kissing your cheek, your jaw line, your cute chin, and finally made it to your bottom lip. I took it into my lips, and sucked on it lightly. Then took your top lip, and kissed it softly. I continue to kiss those luscious lips, getting more passionate as we continue. We take a breather and go back to kissing once again, this time softly and slowly. I pull myself away, because I could already feel myself getting wet inside. I kiss your cheek, and let go of our embrace, looked into your eyes, and finally for the first time said "Hey".

Overflowing

There is this vast feeling of emptiness inside of me
As I stretch my hands on the base of my chest
I feel my heart beating lively like the drums of the poor little drummer boy
Yet I feel as if I have nothing inside
As if my inside consisted of nothing but air
My body feels as if I had something there that is now missing
A pain that makes me shudder and makes my invisible heart cringe
A pain that makes my throat dry and sticky
A pain that waters my eyes with excess lubrication
The emptiness.......
The pain.....
I take my arms and hold myself and comfort myself
Yet, I let the lacrimation fall
As my overflowing well of pain begins to empty out.
I must somehow let all this go, I have to get rid of this
I have to bring the strong side of me out once again
But this is one of those times that she decides to hide
This is the time she decides to give me space.
To let me feel this pain, and remind me of whats really inside
Remind me of the real emptiness inside,
The black hole that is slowly pulling parts of me into into its time warp
Sending it into another dimension far from my own reality.
Maybe this pain and this emptiness just means change
I am and I know because I feel it, I am in a transformation
My life, views, feelings, determinations, goals, motivations.
It all has changed slowly as I have gained so much knowledge.
My cup was overflowing and I couldn't hold anything new,
now that it is empty, I can fill it with new things,
New feelings, new goals, new knowledge, new experiences
So stubborn to let go of the rope, I didn't realize beyond it was a new world.
My cup is empty, I welcome the liquid of life to begin to fill it once again.