I want to speak to you so bad, but deep inside I know I'm only hurting myself.

I have strong urges to turn to you, but I know I'll get your back in return.

I look at your name and fight the urge to ask you a silly question.

Fighting my satisfying need to at least get some kind of interaction.

These moments are so sad as you look from the outside,

For how can someone still want a person who could care less if they died.

I love you, I hate you, and sometimes I feel like I can't live without you,

but I look back at these past weeks and notice that I'm still going.

Writing these couple of lines down to let this minuscule weak moment pass.

Its my way of going on with my present and forgetting my past.

And honestly, I’m not sure if I should keep holding on or let go. It’s stupid to hold to on to something that just keeps hurting you, but it’s also stupid to let go of everything you ever wanted.

I promised myself I will just let it be. It is what it is. What's meant to be will be!